I throw down my mat feeling the weight of my world on my shoulders. I stand in mountain pose and close my eyes, I bring my hands to my heart reminding myself why I take the time to do this. I start my breathing. Slow full inhale, slow full exhale….repeat. Once I feel the oxygen reach my brain I begin to move with the full breathing. Sun salutes, I hate them. I’m now feeling all that I don’t like about having a body and think “what’s the point of doing all this? It’s so much work to have a body. I recall the comfort of drinking, eating and watching movies. The human body can run on it’s own just fine, I don’t need this yoga shit. I’m perfectly fine with my own little preoccupation.”

Ten minutes pass I become Okay with putting some effort into it. But I’m really starting to feel the magnitude of my, bad habits, attachments and irritability that has been so familiar to me. I feel the weight in my chest, brain and every 42 year old joint in my body. I keep breathing because I’ve been here before, many times, and I know how to move into and through it. I keep breathing! No matter how hard it is I WILL have a breakthrough today on my mat. 20 minutes in and my blood is warm, thin and saturated with oxygen. I remember now, I recall the reasons I’ve devoted a large part of my life to practicing and teaching yoga. Now I’m ready to practice Hatha Yoga.